Many German Shepherd lovers are members of a chat room called the List. I’m one of them. I love the List . I read it every day, maybe because it reminds me of the kitchen table when I was growing up in Cleveland, Ohio. The List is in some ways a big electronic kitchen table with all kinds of characters sitting around for a visit.

It was mostly relatives sitting around my childhood kitchen table, but there were also neighbors and occasionally strangers. There was always a red checkered table cloth on the table that was made out of what mom called oil cloth which I don’t see these days, but I assume it is still around. There was always a sugar bowl on the table. I think most people put lots of sugar in their coffee back in the 1940’s and 50’s, and there was always a pot of coffee on the kitchen counter.

I suppose our kitchen was a center of activity because my maternal Grandma lived with us. Grandma Fritz had nine adult children. They all came to visit, sometimes with their families in tow, sometimes not. Almost all of my blood relatives were either German or Polish, but the neighborhood was a true melting pot of European ingredients. Ethnic jokes were ubiquitous, skillfully slicing, and not taken particularly seriously by anyone that I knew. Those were the days before political correctness. “Ethnic humor” was part of the fun. Folks were folks, and the general wisdom had concluded that there were saints and scoundrels in every group.

So people came to visit, and we sat around the kitchen table and talked. Kids were welcome. I started drinking coffee when I was seven and have an old yellow picture to prove it. My brother Al and I would sit there drinking coffee and eating olives, the pits of which we would try to spit into the trash container across the kitchen when my mom wasn’t looking. People only sat in the living room when there was some sort of holiday celebration or something grave had happened, like a death. Other than those times, folks sat in the kitchen drinking coffee and talking.

Talking about what? Well, everything. Who had died. The obituary page from “The Cleveland Plain Dealer” was religiously consulted on this one every day. Who had just had gall bladder surgery. Who was still on the wagon. Who had fallen off the wagon. On and off the wagon were important topics. On the wagon = not drinking. Off the wagon = drinking again, and probably “on a bender” which meant not likely to be seen for several days. Who was feuding with whom (Do you believe it! Again!) in the neighborhood. Gossip was always on the agenda. Rumors were born, embellished, and on rare occasions dispelled. Knowledge (and yes, sometimes wisdom) was laid on the oil cloth, examined, passed around, and ingested. Justice was determined. Culture was transmitted. Truth was confirmed. Most of the time I think people left feeling a little better, a little more connected.

The List is kind of like that. I actually know only a small percentage of the people on the List, but I feel like I know quite a few that I’ve never met. Of those that I’ve actually met over the years, I have many personal favorites. There’s D.D. Ardoin, who goes by Cujo I think. You may remember that Cujo was a mad dog. I don’t know why D.D. goes by Cujo because he’s decidedly unlike a mad dog. Probably has something to do with his sense of humor which is well developed. D.D. is actually Dr. Ardoin, a dentist. I think he’s retired. Someone told me that when he’s judging he’s a real bug on teeth, which would make sense I suppose. The next time I see him I’m going to ask if it’s true. D.D. reminds me of my Uncle Namar. He was the oldest. He never said much at the table, but when he did say something it was always worth careful attention. D.D. is one of those people that when you go to a show and see them you think, “Hey, there’s (whoever). I gotta be sure to talk to him/ her at some point today.” I like to read stuff about structure and movement by Carolyn Martello, Carolyn McKenna, Randy Chesnut, Christina Grainger, Ann Schultz, and others. We’re fortunate in GSDs to have so many people like these and several others on the List that have been around for a long time and really know the dogs.

Just as it did in the kitchen of my youth, sometimes it gets a bit raucous and heated on the List. As a peaceful Buddhist, I’ve never been involved in any of that (he said). I will admit that observing the sparks fly as a List lurker is a guilty pleasure for me, one for which I will surely pay in my next life. Inexorable karma, but then for every yin there’s a yang, as there must have been in the long ago days at the kitchen table.

tom elkins

Firethorn Temple

http://www.firethorntemple.com

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